Wednesday, September 22, 2010
numchucks
are illegal in Canada. But not in the States. Did you know this? I went to Tennessee a while ago, and there were numchucks everywhere. Along with pellet guns, potato guns, and more bluegrass I ever thought imaginable.
What I learned however, had less to do with numchucks, and more on the importance that we place on familiarity in our lives. When I go to the States, or overseas, there's a sense of relief when I cross the border back into Canada. I breathe easier because I understand the culture, the unstated intentions of those around me, body language, implications of actions, and the general workings of the society. It may not be right, but I understand it and I can work within it.
Familiarity seems to be important. Sometimes, it can have overwhelmingly detrimental effects. For example, when women marry men who exhibit traits exactly like their abusive fathers or when alcoholics find themselves in familiar surroundings and encounter an urge to drink they thought they had kicked.
On the other hand, there is something extremely comforting about familiarity. It is a sweater I can wear over and over again because it's been worn in at just the right places. It's knowing where to sit at a family dinner and being able to predict the conversation. It's like there's a level of control there. A level of stability because you can already predict the outcome of yearly family Christmases, new year's eve traditions, and everything else we base ourselves on.
A few days ago, on a car ride, I played "would you rather" with a few friends. The question was, "would you rather drive around feeling lost for five hours, or spend five hours in a traffic jam?" While neither option is appealing (the point of the game), driving around lost for five hours creates a sense of suspension that I would rather avoid. If you don't know when the being lost is going to end, I can only imagine it would be worse. The other question I asked was, "would you rather hear three of your favourite songs over and over for the rest of your life, or never hear the same song ever again for the rest of your life?" Everyone in the car picked the three favourite songs. I'd have to agree: beautiful familiarity.
I think it's damaging to yourself when you don't allow yourself to develop a few familiar things in your life. I think people who constantly move, constantly change careers, cars, houses, friends, etc. have less rest. Familiarity allows your brain to enter into a sleep mode for a little while and just rest. People who have been displaced from their homes due to social upheaval, or live in places of turmoil or conflict, never get the opportunity to develop familiarity. And they are often even worse off for it.
What I learned however, had less to do with numchucks, and more on the importance that we place on familiarity in our lives. When I go to the States, or overseas, there's a sense of relief when I cross the border back into Canada. I breathe easier because I understand the culture, the unstated intentions of those around me, body language, implications of actions, and the general workings of the society. It may not be right, but I understand it and I can work within it.
Familiarity seems to be important. Sometimes, it can have overwhelmingly detrimental effects. For example, when women marry men who exhibit traits exactly like their abusive fathers or when alcoholics find themselves in familiar surroundings and encounter an urge to drink they thought they had kicked.
On the other hand, there is something extremely comforting about familiarity. It is a sweater I can wear over and over again because it's been worn in at just the right places. It's knowing where to sit at a family dinner and being able to predict the conversation. It's like there's a level of control there. A level of stability because you can already predict the outcome of yearly family Christmases, new year's eve traditions, and everything else we base ourselves on.
A few days ago, on a car ride, I played "would you rather" with a few friends. The question was, "would you rather drive around feeling lost for five hours, or spend five hours in a traffic jam?" While neither option is appealing (the point of the game), driving around lost for five hours creates a sense of suspension that I would rather avoid. If you don't know when the being lost is going to end, I can only imagine it would be worse. The other question I asked was, "would you rather hear three of your favourite songs over and over for the rest of your life, or never hear the same song ever again for the rest of your life?" Everyone in the car picked the three favourite songs. I'd have to agree: beautiful familiarity.
I think it's damaging to yourself when you don't allow yourself to develop a few familiar things in your life. I think people who constantly move, constantly change careers, cars, houses, friends, etc. have less rest. Familiarity allows your brain to enter into a sleep mode for a little while and just rest. People who have been displaced from their homes due to social upheaval, or live in places of turmoil or conflict, never get the opportunity to develop familiarity. And they are often even worse off for it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
what driving teaches me
A few years ago I was really tight on cash and staying in my budget was essential for my survival. So I shopped at the dollar store for groceries (bad), got my hair done at a student salon (double bad. it turned green), and drove slower to avoid getting a speeding ticket (worst. and to the irritation of most of my friends).
The driving bit made sense to me at the time. (I was once pulled over for speeding as a teen and I cried). Become a better driver (aka slower driver) to avoid ever getting a speeding ticket. Well, it seems that when you fully incorporate some habits into your life, they never leave. So much like texting while driving (v. bad, but most people still do it), I've developed the long lasting skill of driving slowly. Which means I arrive at most destinations last, friends argue over who has to ride with me, and old people love me because we're going the same speed.
That was really a side note to what I actually wanted to blog about. I was driving a friend home today and I slammed on the brakes about two inches from an ambulance. twice. (i think i might have an issue with depth perception) And then she informed me that there is a legal distance required between a car and the ambulance doors. I had no idea. Though I should have. Seems that fact is stated in most driving handbooks. Anyway, principle number one: you often forget things you have already learned. in life.
Learning the stuff about the ambulance happened right before I asked if I needed to turn left or right onto a road I had just exited. This was embarrassing and I whispered the question before being forced to ask it out loud because no one could hear me. I'm just directionally challenged. i usually need to google map things five or six times before I've committed to memory where I'm going. but I always end up where I need to go. I ask people for directions, I blackberry it, or I just drive around until I see a familiar landmark (highly annoying to all other drivers). Principle number two: try not to worry when you don't know where you're going. with a little bit of humility (re: willingness to ask questions, get lost and self-correct in front of everyone in the car. ugh.), you'll eventually, hopefully, finish where you intended on going when you first started out. if not, maybe everyone is in the mood for a prolonged road trip.
Finally, it makes me sad that people over 80 have to go for a road test every two years. Yes, I understand the legitimate argument of why they need to go for the testing, etc. etc. etc. I just feel that our society treats the aged with a lack of dignity. As they age, we seem to take away more and more of their freedom and sense of independence. Once their cars are gone, they're almost completely reliant on others to drive them around, public transit, cabs, or friends. You thought it took you long now to get around, imagine being 85 and trying to get from point A to point B when no one on the bus will give up their seat for you. I'm sure it's a whole lot of fun. Young people complain about ageism, but I think old people get it even worse. Principle number three: respect your elders and recognize the inherent dignity they have by virtue of being people/
The driving bit made sense to me at the time. (I was once pulled over for speeding as a teen and I cried). Become a better driver (aka slower driver) to avoid ever getting a speeding ticket. Well, it seems that when you fully incorporate some habits into your life, they never leave. So much like texting while driving (v. bad, but most people still do it), I've developed the long lasting skill of driving slowly. Which means I arrive at most destinations last, friends argue over who has to ride with me, and old people love me because we're going the same speed.
That was really a side note to what I actually wanted to blog about. I was driving a friend home today and I slammed on the brakes about two inches from an ambulance. twice. (i think i might have an issue with depth perception) And then she informed me that there is a legal distance required between a car and the ambulance doors. I had no idea. Though I should have. Seems that fact is stated in most driving handbooks. Anyway, principle number one: you often forget things you have already learned. in life.
Learning the stuff about the ambulance happened right before I asked if I needed to turn left or right onto a road I had just exited. This was embarrassing and I whispered the question before being forced to ask it out loud because no one could hear me. I'm just directionally challenged. i usually need to google map things five or six times before I've committed to memory where I'm going. but I always end up where I need to go. I ask people for directions, I blackberry it, or I just drive around until I see a familiar landmark (highly annoying to all other drivers). Principle number two: try not to worry when you don't know where you're going. with a little bit of humility (re: willingness to ask questions, get lost and self-correct in front of everyone in the car. ugh.), you'll eventually, hopefully, finish where you intended on going when you first started out. if not, maybe everyone is in the mood for a prolonged road trip.
Finally, it makes me sad that people over 80 have to go for a road test every two years. Yes, I understand the legitimate argument of why they need to go for the testing, etc. etc. etc. I just feel that our society treats the aged with a lack of dignity. As they age, we seem to take away more and more of their freedom and sense of independence. Once their cars are gone, they're almost completely reliant on others to drive them around, public transit, cabs, or friends. You thought it took you long now to get around, imagine being 85 and trying to get from point A to point B when no one on the bus will give up their seat for you. I'm sure it's a whole lot of fun. Young people complain about ageism, but I think old people get it even worse. Principle number three: respect your elders and recognize the inherent dignity they have by virtue of being people/
Thursday, August 19, 2010
the dance
i have an interview today. i don't think it's considered a real interview, because it's a prescreen, a telephone interview. i told my mother it was simply to weed out the crazies so they wouldn't have to deal with them in a real interview room.
i told my friend about the interview and she told me that this is like an aptitude test. so, if it's like an aptitude test, that means i should likely study for it. and really study for it. like most exams though, most of the information will never be relevant. but for one split second, some tidbit of information i've picked up can be inserted into the interview.
conclusion: i should be able to study for most interviews to the extent that very few of the questions come as a surprise to me.
some other things i think about the interview (thanks in large part to information posted on the Brazen Careerist blog by Penelope Trunk):
take a lesson from george bush : plan my answers to questions with five varying scenarios. and then i just apply them as the question arises. this is what most great presidents do. so, george bush (bad example, i know) would have four or five main speaking points that he wanted to touch on during question periods after speeches. and then, every answer he gave would address one of his talking points. i suppose it's also an alternate way of keeping in control of the conversation, or at least feeling like you're in charge of the conversation. for type a personalities as myself, feeling as though i have some level of control in a seemingly uncontrollable situation is very comforting to me. so if i stumble over questions it's my own fault.
sit up straight, smile, and brush your hair. even in the phone interview. it will make you feel more professional. when i was in university, with a dorm roommate, this wasn't as much of a possibility. i once interviewed for a job in my closet, in my pajamas. this is bad. do not do this. (though i did end up getting the job).
dance the dance. everyone knows the interview is fake. you know it, the interviewer knows it. but it's like a well-choreographed dance. everyone in the audience knows it's a routine, carefully planned, and perfectly executed. this may not be the dancers favourite dance, but they've learned to perform it to such a level that it garners admiration. the ones who follow the moves the best, take the planned dance above and beyond the expectations, they get the prize. it's the same with an interview. it's just the way the world works right now. it's not right, not a complete reflection of how well you'll do at the job, but it's the way things are done. for now. one day, every firm will use LinkedIn and Twitter and Facebook and read your blog to see what you're about. many already do. but even more don't have the time.
i told my friend about the interview and she told me that this is like an aptitude test. so, if it's like an aptitude test, that means i should likely study for it. and really study for it. like most exams though, most of the information will never be relevant. but for one split second, some tidbit of information i've picked up can be inserted into the interview.
conclusion: i should be able to study for most interviews to the extent that very few of the questions come as a surprise to me.
some other things i think about the interview (thanks in large part to information posted on the Brazen Careerist blog by Penelope Trunk):
take a lesson from george bush : plan my answers to questions with five varying scenarios. and then i just apply them as the question arises. this is what most great presidents do. so, george bush (bad example, i know) would have four or five main speaking points that he wanted to touch on during question periods after speeches. and then, every answer he gave would address one of his talking points. i suppose it's also an alternate way of keeping in control of the conversation, or at least feeling like you're in charge of the conversation. for type a personalities as myself, feeling as though i have some level of control in a seemingly uncontrollable situation is very comforting to me. so if i stumble over questions it's my own fault.
sit up straight, smile, and brush your hair. even in the phone interview. it will make you feel more professional. when i was in university, with a dorm roommate, this wasn't as much of a possibility. i once interviewed for a job in my closet, in my pajamas. this is bad. do not do this. (though i did end up getting the job).
dance the dance. everyone knows the interview is fake. you know it, the interviewer knows it. but it's like a well-choreographed dance. everyone in the audience knows it's a routine, carefully planned, and perfectly executed. this may not be the dancers favourite dance, but they've learned to perform it to such a level that it garners admiration. the ones who follow the moves the best, take the planned dance above and beyond the expectations, they get the prize. it's the same with an interview. it's just the way the world works right now. it's not right, not a complete reflection of how well you'll do at the job, but it's the way things are done. for now. one day, every firm will use LinkedIn and Twitter and Facebook and read your blog to see what you're about. many already do. but even more don't have the time.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Why No One Goes to Arkansas
As I coast into the fifth month of unemployment (technically, because I'm working part-time and people like to hire people who are employed. it makes them think you have more value or something.), I've had a few life epiphanies. Which is really what unemployment is absolutely wonderful for. Adults learn best in situations which allow them to use experience from the past and apply them to current or future situations (principle of adult education).
1. Imposed Reflection. This is the best thing that could have happened to me at this point in my life. Actually. We spent so much time working and pursuing life, that we don't take time to reflect on where we've been or where we want to go. There's an amazing quote that says "if you don't know where you're going, any road will do." Yah. and then you end up in Arkansas. Who goes to Arkansas? Unless it's to visit family, I assume very few. Though I could be wrong. If you're the tourism board from Arkansas, please don't contact me (I am going to Tennessee next week on vacation, but I think plenty of people go to Tennessee.)
2. I have decided to make lemonade : You know the saying : when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. That's what I'm doing. I haven't caused this massive economic downturn of which I am now reaping the "benefits" of. But whatever. This is life and stuff like this happens.
3. Upgrade. Upgrade. Upgrade : No one wants to hire someone who is lazy. So I decided take a class and upgrade my skills. I tried to go with something current, like project management. Applicable skills, and common sense combined.
4. Seize opportunity. If I ever wanted to make a career switch, now would be the time. I'm not stuck in a corporate job that I've built myself into for the last five years. Ehhhhhh, so leaving for an entirely different career isn't a huge deal. Which is what I've decided to do. It might blow up in my face, so more on that to come....
1. Imposed Reflection. This is the best thing that could have happened to me at this point in my life. Actually. We spent so much time working and pursuing life, that we don't take time to reflect on where we've been or where we want to go. There's an amazing quote that says "if you don't know where you're going, any road will do." Yah. and then you end up in Arkansas. Who goes to Arkansas? Unless it's to visit family, I assume very few. Though I could be wrong. If you're the tourism board from Arkansas, please don't contact me (I am going to Tennessee next week on vacation, but I think plenty of people go to Tennessee.)
2. I have decided to make lemonade : You know the saying : when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. That's what I'm doing. I haven't caused this massive economic downturn of which I am now reaping the "benefits" of. But whatever. This is life and stuff like this happens.
3. Upgrade. Upgrade. Upgrade : No one wants to hire someone who is lazy. So I decided take a class and upgrade my skills. I tried to go with something current, like project management. Applicable skills, and common sense combined.
4. Seize opportunity. If I ever wanted to make a career switch, now would be the time. I'm not stuck in a corporate job that I've built myself into for the last five years. Ehhhhhh, so leaving for an entirely different career isn't a huge deal. Which is what I've decided to do. It might blow up in my face, so more on that to come....
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sheep
A disturbing fact about sheep : they do not take care of their young. As in, they will often abandon their young, fail to feed their young, or just trample them. This is quite sad to me, and destroys most child-like, pastoral imagery I've built up in my head regarding sheep and their gentleness.
Most animals take care of their young quite well. One would think that sheep would do the same. It seems that the ones with the black faces are the worst when it comes to trampling their young. And this is why sheep often need shepherds, because lambs are often not well taken care of. This seems rational to me (re: appointing a shepherd to take care of flock, especially the weakest).
This conversation came up over a dinner of Swiss Chalet take-out. So, I haven't found any official proof (yet) about the stupidity and cruelty of sheep. But if anyone has come across it, please, enlighten me. If, however, you'd like some other interesting factoids about sheep, I am more than happy to oblige, as I've already wikipedia'd (?) a bit about sheep. But please don't assume any of this is in the least scientific. Most comes as a result of hearsay.
Sheep are less intelligent than pigs and cows. Sheep can identify a human face for years after they have seen it. Sheep will identify one voice and will listen to it (makes me think of this). They often follow the other sheep that seem to be moving and can be taught to "heft" to one particular area: this means that they are taught to stick to one geographical location and not stray outside the boundaries. Quite convenient when shepherding sheep without fences and such. Sheep are prey animals, and need to be protected.
I think the analogies that can be drawn from this, and our own need for a shepherd, are pretty self-explanatory.
Most animals take care of their young quite well. One would think that sheep would do the same. It seems that the ones with the black faces are the worst when it comes to trampling their young. And this is why sheep often need shepherds, because lambs are often not well taken care of. This seems rational to me (re: appointing a shepherd to take care of flock, especially the weakest).
This conversation came up over a dinner of Swiss Chalet take-out. So, I haven't found any official proof (yet) about the stupidity and cruelty of sheep. But if anyone has come across it, please, enlighten me. If, however, you'd like some other interesting factoids about sheep, I am more than happy to oblige, as I've already wikipedia'd (?) a bit about sheep. But please don't assume any of this is in the least scientific. Most comes as a result of hearsay.
Sheep are less intelligent than pigs and cows. Sheep can identify a human face for years after they have seen it. Sheep will identify one voice and will listen to it (makes me think of this). They often follow the other sheep that seem to be moving and can be taught to "heft" to one particular area: this means that they are taught to stick to one geographical location and not stray outside the boundaries. Quite convenient when shepherding sheep without fences and such. Sheep are prey animals, and need to be protected.
I think the analogies that can be drawn from this, and our own need for a shepherd, are pretty self-explanatory.
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